Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
