Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
