tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
