he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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