woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
