3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
