I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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