Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
