i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
