CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
