dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
