So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
