that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
