I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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