He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
