Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
