I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
