Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
