What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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