got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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