I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
