i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
