i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
