no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
