He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
