quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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