You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
