I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
