Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
