Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
