Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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