im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
