I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
