Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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