I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
