i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
