on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
