i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
