You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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