I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
