If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
