Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
this just has baby written all over it
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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