You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My sheets look like a crime scene.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
