Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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