How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Randomize