question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
