YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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