They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Every concussion has its silver lining
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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