Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
