I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
